Even Heroes Have The Right to Bleed
by Rogue Callista
Summary: Songfic. Luke watches Mara sleep and worries over the mysterious illness that may deprive him of his beloved wife.


Disclaimer: This story is based on characters created and owned by Lucasfilm, Ltd. and Timothy Zahn. The song "Superman" is owned and copyrighted by Five for Fighting.  
  
I can't stand to fly  
  
I'm not that naïve  
  
I'm just out to find  
  
The better part of me  
  
I'm more than a bird, I'm more than a plane  
  
I'm more than some pretty face beside a train  
  
And it's not easy to be me  
  
Luke Skywalker sat in the darkened bedroom of the Coruscant apartment he shared with his wife, Mara Jade Skywalker. He hadn't been able to sleep at all that night, as tired as he had been. It wasn't just the fact that the Yuuzhan Vong were on the verge of destroying the New Republic and none of the politicos seemed to realize the need for action. It wasn't just the fact that the Jedi Order was crumbling and Luke felt he was failing as a leader. No, on top of that, his wife, the woman he loved more than breath and blood, was sick. Was dying, even. And he was powerless to save her.  
  
Was this why I became a Jedi?, wondered Luke. To save the galaxy several times over and watch my own wife crumble to bits before my eyes?  
  
1 Wish that I could cry  
  
Fall upon my knees  
  
Find a way to lie  
  
About a home I'll never see  
  
Before Luke knew it, Coruscant's sun began to rise. The dawn light moved as slowly as molten gold through the old-fashioned window slats on the transparisteel windows. As he watched, the sun crept across the bed and lit the face of the sleeping Mara, touching her brilliant red hair with gleaming highlights and making her light skin glow like pure Alderaanian alabastrine.  
  
Luke gasped. Was this a trick of the dawn, or had Mara always been this beautiful? Probably he had never taken the time to really look at her, had been too preoccupied with his duties as Luke Skywalker, savior of the New Republic. And only now that she was dying could he really see how complete she had made him. A sob escaped from his throat before he could stop it.  
  
Slowly, slowly, Mara stretched her long limbs and yawned. It broke Luke's heart to see the way her hand reached out to touch the empty side of the bed where he should have been. She rubbed her face, opening her eyes and looking around. Then her eyes lit on Luke, sitting in the chair at the side of the bed. She managed a sleepy version of her old sardonic smile. "Skywalker, if you couldn't sleep, you should have made yourself some warm traladon milk."  
  
Luke shook his head and forced a smile. "Warm traladon milk came nowhere near curing this insomnia."  
  
Mara held her arms out to Luke. "Come back to bed, Skywalker. Quit worrying."  
  
Luke almost choked on the held-back emotions. "Mara, how can you tell me that?" he flung at her, more harshly than he'd intended to. He began to pace around the room, a bundle of nervous energy. "What with the Yuuzhan Vong and Kyp Durron's faction and."  
  
"My sickness. Come on, Luke, you can say it." Mara's tone was still slightly biting, but he could feel her worry for him.  
  
Not knowing what to do or say, Luke just spoke the first words that came to his mind. "I don't want you to die."  
  
"You think I relish the prospect?" Mara laid her head back on the pillow, shut her eyes. "Luke, sometimes you just have to stop obsessing about things you can't control."  
  
1.1 It may sound absurd, but don't be naïve  
  
Even heroes have the right to bleed  
  
I may be disturbed, but won't you concede  
  
Even heroes have the right to dream  
  
It's not easy to be me.  
  
"I can't help it, Mara. And I don't think worrying about the woman I would gladly give my life for counts as 'obsessing about things I can't control'." Luke collapsed back into the chair exhaustedly. Every bone in his body was tired. His soul was tired. He couldn't go on much longer like this.  
  
"Skywalker, you know what your problem is?" Mara's eyes were still closed. Luke could imagine the green irises twinkling beneath her lids. "You're used to being able to solve every problem that comes along, whether by use of the Force or by diplomatic skill. And you can't negotiate with parasites or slice them with a lightsaber." She finally opened her eyes and laid their full force upon her husband. "Yes, you're a hero. But you're also a man. You have the right to have problems that you can't solve. I didn't marry you because you were omnipotent. I married you because I love you."  
  
Luke was silent. He knew that Mara loved him, but he rarely heard those three words from her, even in the constant conversations of the mind they carried out.  
  
Mara continued, "I love you for everything you are. People on the street, your students, even the rest of your family, see you as Luke Skywalker, hero with a capital H, capable of anything. Sometimes, I see that too. But in the mornings, when it's quiet like this.I see the farmboy who gladly gave his heart to an old, used-up assassin. I see the openness of you, the innocence and love and simplicity at the core of you. And that's why I love you." She exhaled deeply, paused as if she were out of breath.  
  
I can't stand to fly  
  
I'm not that naïve  
  
Men weren't meant to ride  
  
With clouds between their knees  
  
Luke knelt at the side of the bed and ran his hands through the brilliant river of Mara's hair. "Mara." He didn't know what to say. He felt like a dumb kid again, still dusty from the sands of Tatooine. Mara sometimes made him feel like that, but more often, she made him feel more whole. She usually gave him the words he needed to say. Finally, it came to him. "Mara, you mean everything to me. Before I met you, before I fell in love with you, I always wanted something more than what I had, I was always searching for that one more thing. After we got married, I.I was finally a finished person. You made me whole. You gave me love, you gave me life. And if you die, part of me is going to die too."  
  
Mara pulled him closer, drew him onto the bed. "I don't want to leave you. I'm being dragged unwillingly toward the end, believe me. But if I do die.I want to be able to remember our love like this, perfect, without worries." Their lips met, and Luke sank once more into the comfortable feeling of togetherness. He forgot everything except the feeling of her mouth on his and the gentle pressure of her hand on his back. He even forgot to worry.  
  
Long minutes later, when Mara looked at Luke, his eyes were shut. Mara listened to the regular sound of his breathing and smiled. He was sound asleep.  
  
Up, up and away, away from me  
  
It's all right  
  
You can all sleep sound tonight.  
  
It's not easy to be me. 


End file.
